Top 15 Weight Loss Myths

There are many common weight loss myths that people live by when it comes to their health. It is difficult at times to separate the weight loss myths and fact from what is true. Many sound true while others are just laughable. I once read somewhere that if you drink water at night that you are going to gain weight or that if you scratch your head too often you are going to lose your hair….

Weight Loss Myth # 1
The more weight that I have to lose the more intense my exercise routine should be

Weight Loss Truth: Although having an intense workout routine is great, there are a few things you should consider: the first being that everyone is at a different level when it comes to their fitness and how much intensity they can actually handle. If you have been physically inactive for a number of years, an intense work out for you might be, walking half a mile a day. After you walk that half mile you notice that you are sweating bullets and that you are tired. However, for someone who has been physically active for many years, walking half a mile can be done without a sweat. Everyone has a different definition of what “intense” is.

If intense for you is working out for an hour a day, but due to life’s busy schedule you only have time for 20 minutes a day, then those 20 minutes will go an extremely long way. It might not necessarily be classified as “intense”, according to your definition, but those little cardio moments will have positive health altering effects.

Fat Loss Myth # 2
Stress and weight gain do not go hand in hand

Weight Loss Fact: This is one of those “laughable” myths. To learn more how stress is adding lbs. to your life please download my free E-Book, “Psychology of Releasing Weight”

Weight Loss Myth # 3
I can lose weight while eating whatever I want

Weight Loss Truth: Sir Isaac Newton once said ” What goes up must come down.” There are natural principles that govern our lives. If you throw a ball up in the air, it is going to come back down. You can sit on your couch and imagine and visualize that the ball will staying afloat in the air, but natural principles teach us that it will come down. Same goes when it comes to our weight.

This is one of the most common weight loss myths out there. It is illogical to think that your health and weight are going to be in balance if your nutrition consists mainly of twinkies, chips, and donuts. Sure you can burn it off by exercising, but most people whose diet consists of mainly junk food are probably not disciplined enough to stick to a workout routine. I do know a few people who, from the outside, look like they are in good shape, because they are not “fat, but who have high cholesterol.

Just because I feel sorry for crushing the hearts of so many twinkie lovers out there, I would say this. You can eat junk food, cookies, chips, ice cream, pizza, burgers…. All of those “soul satisfying foods”, but it should be in moderation. Anything in excess is never good.

Fat Loss Myth # 4
Skipping meals is a good way to lose weight

Weight Loss Fact: There are numerous studies that show that people who skip breakfast and eat fewer times during the day tend to be a lot heavier than who have a healthy nutritional breakfast and then eat 4-6 small meals during the day. The reason to this might be the fact that they get hungrier later on in the day, and might have a tendency to over eat during other meals of the day.

Weight Loss Myth # 5
I will not lose weight while eating at night

Weight Loss Truth: You can over indulge in food during the day and not eat a single thing at night and you WILL gain weight. As is the fact that you can starve yourself during the day and eat all night long and you still will gain weight. The key here is balance. If your body is telling you that it is hungry then perhaps you should listen to it. The truth is, that over eating, while not exercising, will cause you to gain weight; no matter what time of the day that you eat. Whenever I am hungry at night, as is my habit with other meals during the day, I try to select something that is natural in nature. Something like fruits, vegetables, or I might even make myself a fruit smoothie. During those moments that I am craving ice cream or something sweet, I allow myself to get some, and DO NOT feel guilty about it. Many people who are overweight live their life in guilt and shame. I allow myself to get some, however, WITH MODERATION.

Fat Loss Myth # 6
I’m not acceptable until I lose weight

Weight Loss Fact: The person who doesn’t feel acceptable because they are fat is because they are not acceptable to themselves first. The way that you think others view you is based on your view of yourself. I honestly believe that one must become emotionally fit before becoming physically fit. I have gone through these self-limiting emotions before. Once I realized that I was ALREADY ENOUGH in the eyes of God and that I had no need to prove myself to anyone or to receive external validation for my self-worth, that made all the difference for me. Once you accept yourself as who you are RIGHT NOW and realize that you are already enough in the eyes of God, you will not feel like you are not acceptable because of your weight.

Weight Loss Myth # 7
I need to cut calories to lose weight faster

Weight Loss Truth: Cutting your calories down might be a great thing, if you are drastically overeating and stuffing your face. However, if you are eating proportionally then cutting calories might have an aversive affect. If you are cutting calories and are starving your body, then that will lower your metabolism, or in other words slow it down, which may result in you actually not losing any weight at all, even if you are “cutting calories”

Fat Loss Myth # 8
Skipping meals will help me lose weight

Weight Loss Fact: Skipping meals may actually cause you to gain weight! You will become too hungry and will eventually have to eat. This will knock your metabolism off track and will eventually slow it down. Think of a car running low on gas (food), if you do not fill it up, it will eventually stop working. Same goes for our body, we need to keep it fueled constantly.

Weight Loss Myth # 9
I think I have genetic weight gain, it runs in my family!

Weight Loss Truth: Can someone say E-X-C-U-S-E-S? I will not deny that there might be tendencies for heavy parents to raise heavy children who will remain heavy their whole lives, but I don’t believe that there is actually a “fat” gene or DNA out there. What we do inherit from our family, primarily those who directly raised us, are our views and beliefs. Your views about food, money, religion, politics, education, etc. are based upon how you were raised. If you were raised in a home where the primary meals cooked where fried foods, then you might have a tendency to continue cooking and eating fried foods throughout your life. If that is the case then you might be a little heavy around the waist. The easy thing to do is to blame it on those who were in charge of your upbringing, however, you ALWAYS have a choice to change.

Fat Loss Myth # 10
Eating healthy is too hard

Weight Loss Fact: Eating healthy is the simplest thing in the world…..once you have trained yourself to do it. How many times have you placed a goal to lose weight or to “eat better”? The first few days you are doing great, eating all kinds of foods which you normally wouldn’t eat. Then something funny started to happen, you went back to your old habits and behaviors. This has happened to you in other areas outside of your health. It could be with making money, looking for a new job, or in your relationships. Creating a new habit takes time because our brain’s do not like change. Change to the brain is dangerous. Anyways, if you would like to learn more about how our brain attempts to sabotage us from creating new habits then please download my free E-book, “Psychology of Releasing Weight”

Weight Loss Myth # 11
You have to give up your favorite foods to lose weight

Weight Loss Truth: What would a world without chocolate and without pepperoni pizza be like??? I think it would be a torturous world to live in!! lol, now on a real note I completely disagree with this myth. You are definitely able to eat your favorite foods. Depriving yourself of this kind of pleasure is not fun, and quite frankly you probably WILL eat it anyways. As has been mentioned before, the real key is moderation. If you are a steak lover, then perhaps it might not be the best things to eat it every single day, but perhaps once or twice a week. Those who know me personally know that I LOOOOOOOOVE chicken wings with pizza. In a perfect world where I wouldn’t gain any weight and my arteries were clog-less, I would love to eat it several times per week, well more like every day. However, I know that those aren’t the healthiest of food choices so I have it about 2-3 times per month. I am not giving up my favorite foods, I am just eating it in moderation so that it doesn’t catch up to me in the form of excess weight.

Fat Loss Myth # 12
Overeating is caused by hunger

Weight Loss Fact: Nice try there. If only we could blame “hunger” for it. In fact, this person we call hunger has nothing to do with you OVEREATING. It might have something to do your body telling you that it is time to “fuel up” and that it needs food, but that is not an indication that one should overeat. What causes many people to overeat are different reasons. One of the main ones is feeling of stress, depression, loneliness, anxiety, fear, and other down grading emotions of that nature. Many times food can be a means of satisfying your needs. You might be actually getting your needs met through your foods. For example, if you live a lonely life, and aren’t very happy, then food could perhaps be a means of you feeling happy and comforted. There are other articles that I have written on this subject but suffice it to say that overeating is NOT cause by being hungry.

Weight Loss Myth # 13
Only drastic diets work

Weight Loss Truth: There goes that word again…DIEt….those “drastic diets” are only good for quick weight loss and rapid weight gain once you get of it. These drastic diets range from the “cookie diet”, lol…. All that way to “the water only diet”….. I am sure you can lose weight while on these DIEts, however the weight will be gained right back and usually with some added weight as a bonus

Fat Loss Myth # 14
I am too fat and too far down the road to begin

Weight Loss Fact: A long journey begins one step at a time. It is natural to expect instantaneous results and to even fear the road ahead of you; especially if you are extremely overweight. The secret here is to make SMALL incremental changes. Don’t expect perfection because that will lead you to disappointment. You are never too far down the road to where you cannot see the sun’s light……

Weight Loss Myth # 15
I can’t do it, I have tried many times and have failed

Weight Loss Truth: The great Henry Ford once said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t- you’re right.'”……It is 90% mindset, and 10% actually getting off your butt and doing something about it. You fall down, you get back up…. you fall down again, you get back up again. If you have tried to lose weight in the past then it is time to keep trying. Discouragment is to losing weight as is a piece of fried chicken to a vegetarian……they DO NOT go hand in hand.

Using a Home Health Care Agency

Most elderly people eventually are faced with the fact that they can no longer live alone and this can be a very stressful time for them. They feel they are losing their independence and are no longer useful to themselves or others. You can make this easier on your parents if you talk about it before that time comes and make plans together as to how it will be handled.

Your parents have probably lived in their home for a long time so the best solution is probably home care. You can try to find a home health care provider on your own, but it would not be wise to do this without checking both their references and their background. You would also need to learn about the state laws regarding taxes, insurance and bonding. You are probably better off using the help of a professional agency. A good agency supplying home care aides will have a good business record and ensure their caregivers have been checked out thoroughly.

The home care companion can help with walking, meal preparation and light housekeeping, while a certified home health aide can help with bathing and dressing in addition to other tasks. A home care agency manages their home health care aides and the home health care aides take care of your family member, so you can take care of your own responsibilities. This allows you to maintain a good relationship with your parents and enjoy each others company to the fullest.

A licensed home care agency supplies caregivers to people who need either non-medical services or licensed home health care. Agency employees are certified, screened and have a thorough background check done for your protection. The agency takes care of all wages, insurance, taxes and bonding. Some even have vans that shuttle their caregivers right to the client’s home, assuring prompt and reliable service.

Of course, experience is one of the most important things to look at when contracting a home health care provider. Be sure to ask for references and for any client success stories they may have.  The most trusted home health care providers in your area will have numerous references and testimonials for you to review. The agency you select should also be a member in good standing of the Better Business Bureau (BBB).

One of the greatest benefits that can come from working with these professionals is the relationship which develops between the client, their family and the caregiver and supervisor. The family soon learns to trust the caregiver to take care of the client and the client accepts and soon enjoys the arrangement, allowing everyone to relax and enjoy life again.

Landmark Study Shows Americans Aren’t Very Healthy But, No Worries: We’ve Got the Best Medical Care

TIME TO RETHINK HEALTH AND HEALTH CARE

Introduction: A Wake-Up Call

In late January, the Institute of Medicine’s committee of medical experts under the auspices of NIH issued a comprehensive report on the health of Americans. Based upon data from 13 developed countries in Europe plus Japan, Australia and Canada,
the report concluded that other high-income countries outrank the United States on most measures of health. The basic finding? The U.S. is among the wealthiest nations in the world, but it is far from the healthiest.

This report should be read by every hospital CEO and public official in this country. It should be studied by everyone interested in quality of life. I believe it demonstrates a need to rethink the nature of health. This is important because how we view health has consequences for the way we organize health systems – and much more.

Just think for a moment about this one-sentence summary from the NIH expert panel: People living in the United States die sooner, get sicker and sustain more injuries than those in all other high-income countries.

The Sorry Details

In no fewer than 9 out of 11 categories, health status is worse in America than the other 16 leading industrialized nations. In the other two categories, we’re doing better: We’re only next to worst.

Anyone who considers Americans healthy might be shocked to discover that the Institute of Medicine/NIH report indicates just the opposite. The fact is we are in the bottom rank among our peer nations. We are last in life expectancy; we have the highest rates of obesity, infant mortality, low birth weights, heart disease, diabetes, chronic lung disease, homicide rates, teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

The chairman of the study panel, Dr. Steven Woolf, a professor of medicine at Virginia Commonwealth University, said:

We were stunned by the propensity of findings all on the negative side – the scope of the disadvantage covers all ages, from babies to seniors, both sexes, all classes of society. If we fail to act, life spans will continue to shorten and children will face greater rates of illness than those in other nations.

If all this does not seem akin to a mass die off of proverbial canaries in a coal mine, then consider this statement in the report:

Advantaged Americans – those who are white, insured, college-educated, upper income – are in worse health than similar individuals in other countries. Even Americans who do not smoke or are not overweight have higher rates of disease than similar groups in peer countries.

It’s Not About Hospitals, Doctors or the Health Care System

Dr. Woolf correctly writes in the report that these key measurements are not directly related to the quality of health care:

On the contrary, health outcomes are determined by much more than health care. Much of our health disadvantage comes from factors outside of the clinical system and outside of what doctors and hospitals can do.

The NIH report offers no sweeping answers or simple solutions. Our poor health status ranking is due mostly to lifestyle-related dynamics, such as dreadful diet and exercise levels. The report devotes a lot of attention to our unprecedented obesity rates, our dependency on a physical environment built around the automobile rather than the pedestrian, the fact that tens of millions are without access to proper medical services, many adverse economic/environmental and social conditions and dysfunctional values and misguided public policies.

The bottom line, as expressed by one panel member, is that we are not preventing damaging health behaviors.

Just so. The report was designed to alert the American public about the extent of the nation’s health disadvantage and to stimulate a national discussion about its implications. Therefore, we might ask what role might health system leaders play to address these kinds of problems, while continuing to offer high quality medical care?

More specifically, can leading hospital systems and business leaders, public officials and concerned citizens do more to educate Americans to live more wisely? Can these leaders be more effective at promoting health (not just delivering quality medical care) so as to increase citizen chances of staying healthy while becoming truly well and remaining that way much longer than most manage to do at present?

Promoting health, in my view, warrants as much priority as delivering high-tech, costly care for chronic medical conditions. The situation is dire. How dire? One expert (well, me) has suggested it might be time for a Marshall Plan-level commitment to REAL wellness to get Americans back on track to become healthier as well as properly medicalized.

What to Do? Look on the Bright Side and Shift Gears

In recent years, the British Medical Journal (BMJ) has devoted entire editions to forums about the need for and paths to an expanded, more functional definition of health. The latter always focuses on building the capacity of the individual to pursue a full life – and to do it proactively.

Step one usually entails is a reassessment and reawakening of the public to the stark reality that there is no chance that anyone can realize, at least not for very long, the old WHO definition of health as a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being. It sounds good but it’s impossible. We have pains and aches, little disabilities, colds and all manner of hopefully minor ailments nearly all the time. Human flesh is heir to countless troubles.

Step two must involve a needed shift from treating symptoms and consequences of mediocre lifestyles to better ways to organize healthier societies.

Step three is getting it right, understanding the situation. It’s easy to misread the situation. In a Wall Street Journal essay, Sally Pipes, president of a health systems research institute, gets it all wrong. She writes:

Sustaining a superior level of medical innovation will do far more to improve Americans’ health than adopting the health-care policies from overseas.

(See Sally C. Pipes, Those Misleading World Health Rankings, Wall Street Journal – Opinion, February 4, 2013.)

Wrong! No it won’t! Medical innovation is always welcome and it can save lives, cut costs and bring other beneficial outcomes within the sickness care system. But medical innovation will not make people healthier or boost the quality of their lives. People must do that for themselves. The way to do so is at hand – its called living well.

One philosophy for living well is called REAL wellness.

Real Wellness

While we spend far more on medical care than all the rest, we are far less healthy. In what is arguably the ultimate measure of consequence, namely, quality of life, we are the Mississippi of advanced nations.

What are the prospects for American health in times to come? To paraphrase Lewis Pasteur, chance favors prepared minds and fit bodies. Thus, at present the odds are long against Americans. Too few of us even recognize that there is more to health than not being sick. Those of us who embrace REAL wellness or anything like it have a mission, though most of us are too modest to mention it: to influence everyone we can. Influence how, you ask?

To beg the question for a moment, I’ll answer my own query thusly: In any and all ways that seem to offer any promise at all to improve the chances that more Americans will somehow manage to bend high level health status odds in their direction. For too many, the chances at present for even thinking about, much less realizing, REAL wellness lifestyles are comparable to their lottery prospects.

Doing so requires an appreciation of the reality that there is a state of exuberant well-being. That is, there is more to health than most think. A better state of well being can be approached and enjoyed, not by continued dependence on medical ministrations and even wonders but on lifestyles guided by accessible skills – including but not limited to effective decision-making, joy in living, athleticism, perspective and personal freedoms.

A Better Way of Thinking about the Nature of Health

Dr. Dean Ornish and others believe that at least 75 percent of the $2.1 trillion dollars spent on health care costs last year were for chronic diseases that are largely preventable. Most are also reversible just by diet-focused lifestyle reforms, but few seem able to manage even this much of a shift from the normal and customary American way.

Health reform even with the Affordable Health Care Act will fail if the emphasis remains on who is covered rather than on what is emphasized by doctors and others and what is covered by insurance. We need less health insurance reform, more human being reforms. We need to focus on how the nation can become a healthy society. Not healthier! That implies we’re already healthy. We’re not.

Make no mistake. Those of us with sufficient access health care enjoy good medical attention if and when we really need it. But, so much has to be done in order that most Americans will not need so much medical attention. This applies to normal care in the early and middle years of life, as well as later when super-duper institutional and medicinal resources are brought to bear on chronic conditions that have set which limit quality of life possibilities.

REAL wellness promoters and all who seek a healthier society (beyond a well-medicalized one) might want to adopt a bold new goal – guiding Americans toward healthier outcomes.

Naturally we need medical care on occasions throughout our lives, no matter how wisely we live. But we need to live wisely all the time, throughout life, before we eventually die as healthy as possible.

We know that the fundamental causes of chronic diseases are primarily related to lifestyle choices expressed daily. We can’t avoid these problems with drug and other health care interventions; medications and surgery are palliative remedies for symptoms of failed lifestyles.

Bottom Line

In plain language, we’re in a fix. What must be addressed if we want to change? Here’s a partial starter list:
* The kind of foods and liquids we consume.
* The emotions we generate.
* The feelings we endure.
* The irrational and toxic chemicals we process through our lungs/blood and important organs – and all organs all important.
* The discipline to exercise every day.
* The artfulness for successful relationships.
* The social supports that can reinforce good choices, and
* The discovery of practical ways to help people find more fulfilling pursuits of happiness.
And so on. There are many more.

These lifestyle factors are examples of initiatives that could boost American health – REAL health, quality of life-enhancing well-being styles of health. These elements of REAL wellness are more consequential than the most skilled and expensive ministrations of fabulous teams of doctors and nurses, more important to health status than the world’s greatest medical institutions. They count more for quality of life than all the wonder drugs designed by chemical geniuses.

It’s not an either/or situation. Leaders in the medical system can emphasize the nature of health beyond the work they do helping the injured and sick recover from physical and mental adversity. They can do this while providing excellent medical care for illnesses, accidents and chronic failures.

Evidence-based medicine is good, far better than the dominant reimbursement – based medicine. Yet, medicine will not change the dismal reality of lowly health status for Americans. Only REAL wellness lifestyles will do that.

What will turn things around? What will it take to realize needed changes, including ways to motivate and support people willing to learn better skills to self-manage life’s challenges?

Who is better positioned to figure it out, little by little and bit by bit, than doctors and other medical professionals who work everyday with those who have ruined their health, as well as business and community leaders aware of the high costs of mediocre health status? The poor health quality of Americans is a condition of social, cultural, institutional and environmental factors that shape choices people make.

Ultimately, everyone must do his or her part, somehow, to live life wisely and well and find ways to help others do likewise.

I’ll end with a message somewhat presidential! Ask not what the medical system can do for you – Ask instead what you can do for your health, and what together we can do to enhance the health status of everyone else.

Top Three Healthy Weight Loss Diet Plan

Choosing the right and healthy weight loss diet plan not require some research on how effective the weight loss plan is in helping you attain your weight loss goal in good time but also whether the plan is one that leads to long term weight loss. healthy weight loss diet plan should be the aim of many dieters but not many know how to know a healthy weight loss diet plan. This article will help you determine which weight loss plan is a healthy weight loss diet plan and which is not.

The best and healthy weight loss diet plan should be those that will change you the way you think about foods, it should be one that helps you make healthy choices that will leading to losing weight. Any one trying or thinking of losing weight should look the way of any weight loss plan that deals with reeducation, balanced diet and healthy weight loss exercise. Any plan that deals with such factors as mentioned above would not only help you to lose weight but also help you keep it off and stay healthy, which means you can lose weight and still be making the right choices.

Stay off Yo-Yo Dieting

Yo-Yo diets are not only a bad way to lose weight but also cause diverse health problems to any one on them, both physically and emotionally. Any one on Yo-Yo diets should know that any weight lost through this method will be regained and even more in the nearest future. You should also know that whenever you lose weight and you regained it back you are teaching your body how to fail and sending a wrong message to your brain – telling your brain to adapt to failure. It is always advisable to adopt the best weight loss tips available so as to prepare yourself for a lifelong weight loss diet plan that is healthy and successful. Make this lifestyle change the permanent one through sensible choices and positive tactics.

Psychological Reasons

The best weight loss tips are those which are seen to be successful. Any dieter who is seeing the required result is most likely to continue whatever created the results in the first place. Psychological aspect of weight loss is as important as the physical aspect of a weight loss plan. The aim or goal or healthy eating and a change in life style over a long time should be the result of any weight loss plan that is selected and implemented by the dieter. You can always use supplements to start but your main aim should be to make healthy choices all the time.

Implement a New and healthy Lifesytle

for a long term weight loss plan, the new regimen and a change in your eating will also lead to a change your thoughts about life in general. You are certain to keep off the weight because you are now wiser and are now making better choices when it comes to food and exercise and some other activities which you enjoy. If you learn how not to return to your old ways of eating, activity levels and other bad life styles you will maintain the your ideal weight levels and never get fat again. These life styles if maintain for a very long time will will become the norm, even without thinking about the choices you are making.

The above weight loss tips are one of the many Healthy Weight Loss Diet Plans available to help those who want to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle. The key to healthy weight loss is getting Healthy Weight Loss Diet Plan and stick to it and also make healthy eating habit a part of your daily lifestyle. Exercise regularly. Learn to forgive yourself if you skip one of your daily routine but make sure you don’t quit. And most importantly expect success. Success will not be achieved instantly but if you persist, you would get there. All these things will help you to take the weight off and keep it off for a lifetime. When the new way of living and eating becomes the norm, then you will never again need to go on a diet.

Public Perception Is Cats Don’t Need Medical Care – Wrong!

Maybe it is because cats seem so self-sufficient that the public has tended to assume that cat’s do not need medical care. Perhaps the idea is grounded in the myth that cats have nine lives. In reality, cats need, at the very least, one physical examination a year to check on the cat’s state of health and provide any prevention measures, such as essential vaccines. This is in addition to appointments for any indication the cat is unwell.

According to a survey of veterinarians, human dog-companions take their dogs to veterinarians more than twice as often as human cat-companions take their cats. Part of that may be that cats tend to hide their pain, which means they can be very ill when their human companion finally notices that something is wrong. For example, urinary tract infection, urinary blockage, constipation, upper-respiratory disease, and dental disease can be minor and easily treated when addressed immediately, but can be lethal when they are not. Human cat-companions need to learn to be more sensitive to their cat’s personality, behavior, and body language to be able to detect signs of illness and stress earlier on.

Chronic diseases like cancer and diabetes as well as cardio-vascular conditions, obesity, and arthritis can be better treated when they are detected early. As the cat ages, there are additional threats to its health, such as hyperthyroidism and kidney disease which also require early treatment. What this suggests is that human cat-companions need to know the life stages of their cat and what they indicate.

Your knowing your cat’s life stages allows you be more aware of what your cat needs and when and what to look for as your cat ages. The American Association of Feline Practitioners and the American Animal Hospital Association have partnered to produce guidelines that promote appropriate wellness care for your cat. These guidelines divide the feline life span into five stages:

- Kitten (up to 6 months)
– Junior (between 7 months to 2 years)
– Adult (between 3 and 6 years)
– Mature cat (between 7 and 10 years)
– Senior (between 11 and 14 years)
– Geriatric (15 years and older).

These guidelines address health, nutrition, tests, vaccinations, teeth, behavior, environment, and parasite control issues at each stage of your cat’s life. They also provide wellness-visit discussion and action items in a table format you can attach to your refrigerator for an easy reminder. You can obtain a PDF of these guidelines at http://catalystcouncil.org/. The more aware you are of your cat and its health, the longer you two can enjoy your relationship and time together.